Part 1: The Nature of Relationships:
1 - Why are relationships Important to Success?
Relationships are the glue that holds team members together.
Just about everything you do depends on teamwork.
Will your involvement with others be successful?
Five Characteristics you need for Strong
Relationships:
1) Respect
2) Shared Experiences
3) Trust
4) Reciprocity
5) Mutual Enjoyment
WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS, EVERYTHING BEGINS WITH RESPECT, WITH THE DESIRE TO PLACE VALUE ON OTHER PEOPLE.
Becoming a highly relational person brings individual and team
success.
2 - What do I need to know about Others?
People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
If you can learn to understand people:
· How they think
· What they feel
· What inspires them
· How they’re likely to act and react in a given situation
Then you can motivate and influence them in a positive way.
WHY PEOPLE FAIL TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS?
Lack of understanding concerning others is a recurrent
source of tension
1) Fear
2) Self-Centeredness
3) Failure to Appreciate Differences
4) Failure to Acknowledge Similarities
IF YOU TREAT EVERY PERSON YOU MEET AS IF HE OR SHE WERE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD, YOU’LL COMMUNICATE THAT HE OR SHE IS SOMEBODY— TO YOU.
THINGS EVERYBODY NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT
PEOPLE
Knowing what people need and want is the key to understanding them.
1) EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE SOMEBODY
2) NOBODY CARES HOW MUCH YOU KNOW UNTIL HE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU CARE
3) EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY
4) EVERYBODY CAN BE SOMEBODY WHEN SOMEBODY UNDERSTANDS AND BELIEVES HER
5) ANYBODY WHO HELPS SOMEBODY INFLUENCES A LOT OF BODIES
“Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership.”
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered— love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives— do good anyway.
If you’re successful, you’ll win false friends and true enemies— succeed anyway.
The good you do today will perhaps be forgotten tomorrow— do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable— be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest man with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest man with the smallest mind— think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only hot dogs— fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight— build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you help them— help them anyway.
Give the world the best that you have and you will get kicked in the teeth— give the world the best that you have anyway. If better is possible, then good is not enough.
CHOOSE TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS
The ability to understand people is a choice.
Every person is capable of having the ability to understand, motivate, and ultimately influence others.
Part 2: THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF RELATIONSHIPS
3 - How can I Encourage Others?
Believing in people before they have proved themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their potential.
Faith is essential for building and maintaining all positive relationships
Four facts about faith:
1) MOST PEOPLE DON’T HAVE FAITH IN THEMSELVES
2) MOST PEOPLE DON’T HAVE SOMEONE WHO HAS FAITH IN THEM
3) MOST PEOPLE CAN TELL WHEN SOMEONE ELSE HAS FAITH IN THEM
4) MOST PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING TO LIVE UP TO YOUR FAITH IN THEM
Always remember that your goal is not to get people to think more highly of you. It’s to get them to think more highly of themselves.
People rise or fall to meet your level of expectations for them.
HOW TO BECOME A BELIEVER IN PEOPLE
Ø BELIEVE IN THEM BEFORE THEY SUCCEED
Ø EMPHASIZE THEIR STRENGTHS
Ø LIST THEIR PAST SUCCESSES
Ø INSTILL CONFIDENCE WHEN THEY FAIL
Ø EXPERIENCE SOME WINS TOGETHER
Ø VISUALIZE THEIR FUTURE SUCCESS
Ø EXPECT A NEW LEVEL OF LIVING
BELIEVING IN PEOPLE BEFORE THEY HAVE PROVED THEMSELVES IS THE KEY TO MOTIVATING PEOPLE TO REACH THEIR POTENTIAL.
4 - HOW CAN I CONNECT WITH PEOPLE?
Always remember, the heart comes before the head.
THE HEART COMES FIRST
CONNECT IN PUBLIC AND PRIVATE
CONNECT WITH PEOPLE ONE AT A TIME
PUT A “10” ON EVERY PERSON’S HEAD
THE TOUGHER THE CHALLENGE, THE GREATER THE CONNECTION
YOU CAN’T MOVE PEOPLE TO ACTION UNLESS YOU FIRST MOVE THEM WITH EMOTION. THE HEART COMES BEFORE THE HEAD.
THE RESULT OF CONNECTION IN THE
WORKPLACE
When a leader has done the work to connect with his people, you can see it in the way the organization functions. Among employees there are incredible loyalty and a strong work ethic.
5 - HOW CAN I BECOME A BETTER LISTENER?
Treat every person as if he or she were the most important person in the world.
The ability to skillfully listen is the foundation to building positive relationships
THE VALUE OF LISTENING
o LISTENING SHOWS RESPECT
o LISTENING BUILDS RELATIONSHIPS
§ “You can make more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie
o LISTENING INCREASES KNOWLEDGE
o LISTENING GENERATES IDEAS
o LISTENING BUILDS LOYALTY
o LISTENING IS A GREAT WAY TO HELP OTHERS AND YOURSELF
HOW TO DEVELOP LISTENING SKILLS
1) LOOK AT THE SPEAKER
2) DON’T INTERRUPT
3) FOCUS ON UNDERSTANDING
4) DETERMINE THE NEED AT THE MOMENT
5) CHECK YOUR EMOTIONS
6) SUSPEND YOUR JUDGMENT
7) SUM UP AT MAJOR INTERVALS
8) ASK QUESTIONS FOR CLARITY
9) ALWAYS MAKE LISTENING YOUR PRIORITY
IF YOU SHOW PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU CARE AND ASK QUESTIONS IN A NONTHREATENING WAY, YOU’LL BE AMAZED BY HOW MUCH THEY’LL TELL YOU.
Part 3: THE GROWTH OF RELATIONSHIPS
6 - HOW CAN I BUILD TRUST WITH OTHERS?
When your words and actions match, people know they
can trust you.
Integrity is crucial for business and personal success.
INTEGRITY IS ABOUT THE SMALL THINGS
INTEGRITY IS AN INSIDE JOB
1) INTEGRITY IS NOT DETERMINED BY CIRCUMSTANCES
2) INTEGRITY IS NOT BASED ON CREDENTIALS
3) INTEGRITY IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH REPUTATION
QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU MEASURE YOUR INTEGRITY
1) How well do I treat people if I gain nothing?
2) Am I transparent with others?
3) Do I role-play based on the person( s) I’m with?
4) Am I the same person in the spotlight as I am when I’m alone?
5) Do I quickly admit wrongdoing without being pressed to do so?
6) Do I put people ahead of my personal agenda?
7) Do I have an unchanging standard for moral decisions, or do circumstances determine my choices?
8) Do I make difficult decisions, even when they have a personal cost attached to them?
9) When I have something to say about people, do I talk to them or about them?
10) Am I accountable to at least one other person for what I think, say, and do?
Don’t be too quick to respond to the questions. Take some time to reflect on each question, honestly considering it before answering. Then work on the areas where you’re having the most trouble.
INTEGRITY IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
· It will never betray you
· Put you in a compromising position
· It keeps your priorities right
· When you’re tempted to take shortcuts, it helps you to stay the right course
IF A GOOD REPUTATION IS LIKE GOLD, THEN HAVING INTEGRITY IS LIKE OWNING THE MINE.
BECOME A PERSON OF INTEGRITY
COMMIT YOURSELF TO HONESTY, RELIABILITY, AND CONFIDENTIALITY
DECIDE AHEAD OF TIME THAT YOU DON’T HAVE A PRICE
EACH DAY, DO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO BEFORE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
7 - WHAT IS MY MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP?
Succeed at home, and all other relationships become
easier.
Marriages and Families
STEPS TO BUILDING A STRONG FAMILY
Ø EXPRESS APPRECIATION FOR EACH OTHER
Ø STRUCTURE YOUR LIVES TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER
Ø DEAL WITH CRISIS IN A POSITIVE WAY
Ø COMMUNICATE CONTINUALLY
Ø SHARE THE SAME VALUES
Ø BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE
WHAT WOULD IT PROFIT ME TO GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSE MY FAMILY?
8 - HOW CAN I SERVE AND LEAD PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME?
You’ve got to love your people more than your position.
HAVING A SERVANT’S HEART
Does not mean to think Less of Yourself, Bur about
Yourself Less!
A true servant leader:
1) PUTS OTHERS AHEAD OF HIS OWN AGENDA
2) POSSESSES THE CONFIDENCE TO SERVE
3) INITIATES SERVICE TO OTHERS
4) IS NOT POSITION-CONSCIOUS
5) SERVES OUT OF LOVE
To improve your servanthood:
Perform small acts.
Learn to walk slowly through the crowd.
Move into action.
IT IS TRUE THAT THOSE WHO WOULD BE GREAT MUST BE LIKE THE LEAST AND THE SERVANT OF ALL.
If you want to be successful on the highest level, be willing to serve on the lowest. That’s the best way to build relationships.