Misunderstandings happen. Unless people keep a cool head when these happen, situations can escalate into full blown fights. Any time a person is rude or mean to a complete stranger or even someone close to them, they frequently are mad at themselves or projecting an aspect of themselves on you.
Anytime I snapped at a person, I was upset about something else or someone else. The tips below, are ways to deal with a wide array of rude and inappropriate behaviors.
1. Take The Time to React
Too often, our knee jerk reactions are inappropriate in expressing our true feelings. Our first reaction is normally that of our baser mind. When we stop and consider what is going on and how it truly relates to us, the path of understanding will help us understand our experience and many feelings.
The initial irritation or other negative emotions are only our egos reacting to the situation. We are more than our egos. So take a breath and let go of your emotions and judgement as they arise. You are more than the sum of these feelings, so appreciate them for the fleeting expressions that they are.
2. Ask Questions and Truly Understand
Initial appearances are frequently colored with our unconscious biases and desires. It is smart to operate as though people don’t mean to cause the harm. Opening lines of communication and discussing the feelings and situation at hand will help both parties examine what was said, how everyone was effected, and what was actually intended.
Misunderstandings only continue to negatively affect us as long as aspects aren’t clearly understood. Don’t be afraid to delve into the situation.
3. Get Away from Toxic People
The underlying theme of this article and concept is that people are inherently good. There is often miscommunication between well-meaning people. After cooling off and clearing up communication everyone can see each other’s intentions. Some people, though, are not well meaning. They are trying to throw a wrench in the plans of others and emotionally put others down to make themselves feel better. Honest mistakes only happen so often between two people.
If you frequently find yourself at odds with someone, take a close look at their actions. If they are not trying to resolve the situation or frequently and knowing create problems then you need to put distance between you.
4. Don’t Rely On Others to Fuel Your Self Love and Self Esteem
If you rely on external means for your happiness, then you will weaken the connection you have with yourself. You’ll lose track of your actual feelings, searching out certain responses from others. It is alright for others to influence us, but not OK for others to tell us how we feel.
5. Take Time to Repair and Self Love
All this tolerance and patience comes at a personal price. This price seems fairly high, especially in the beginning. Take the time to let your reserves fill back up. Relax and spend the night in the company of trusted friends and advisers that you can blow off steam with.
Just because you stop yourself from negatively reacting to the actions of others, doesn’t mean there is no negativity. Take stock of your feelings and do what you have to do to keep your mind and spirit healthy.